You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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