At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
