I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
