omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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