i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
