just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize