My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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