yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
