Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
