Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
