in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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