soooo we both peed the bed last night...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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