dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
