We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
