Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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