I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
