His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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