just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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