if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
