she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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