How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
