just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
