the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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