Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
