we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she told me i tasted like america
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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