Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
