these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we should paint friendship bongs
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