i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize