You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
