she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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