the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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