no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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