I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
