the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
