whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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