i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
