did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
