Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
