My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
