i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
