I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
