Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think i have herpe
just one?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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