i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He kissed a someone with a penis
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
