Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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