if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
