Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she smelled like a LAN party
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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