Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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