i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
