Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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