She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
