so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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