awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
