you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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