Already got asked if we're dating
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
