you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
