he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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