You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
A+ Viking dick
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
