It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
