I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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