Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
