There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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